Runnin' with the Devil

So suddenly Republicans are whining that "family members are off-limits." But I figure; if you didn't want us to make fun of your children, you shouldn't have named them so hilariously.


Sarah Palin's newest-born child is named Trig. Is that male or female? I don't know, and frankly, it isn't worth a Google search. But the first name's bad enough, right? Wrong. There's more. The kid's full name is TRIG PAXSON VAN PALIN. Say it out loud to yourself. Yes, the Palins have confirmed it (I read it in a newspaper yesterday, so it's gotta be true): The name is an homage. Say it out loud to yourself again if you aren't certain what it's an homage to. "Van Palin." Yeah... Got it now, right? Now, my first instinct is to ask the age-old question - "Sammy Hagar or David Lee Roth?" but somehow, just somehow, I'm afraid the answer is going to be "Gary Cherone."

Again, I could do a Google search to figure out all the others' full names, but I'd just rather Trig Paxson Van Palin get the hell off our headlines and take siblings Bristol Dexy's Midnight Palin, Track Speedwagon Palin, Willow Salt-N-Palin and Piper Rush Wang-Chung Starship Whitesnake Olivia Newton Palin along with him. "Him?" Does that sound right? Sure, why not.