Idle Worship

I apologize for more pope talk, it's just that pretty much every news organization on the planet is reporting this "Pope says he prayed not to be elected" story. I only find it interesting because I too prayed it would be someone else. Of course, I'm fairly certain that he and I were praying to different gods. For instance, my God knows that gays and women are not inferior beings. My God knows that fear of damnation is no motivator toward altruism. My God respects alternate beliefs and knows that grudging tolerance of individual differences isn't good enough. My God understands the importance of genetic research. My God finds no fault in condoms, masturbation, pre-marital sex and morning-after pills. My God teaches reproductive rights. My God is passionate about AIDS prevention. My God believes in remarriage. My God is a God of love and compassion and empathy and acceptance. But then, my God is a garden gnome named Stinky Monkeybiscuit who lives in my linen closet and whose chief purpose is to guard my spare washcloths against Satan and his works. So I guess he doesn’t know everything. I mean, the little bastard can’t even fold my bath towels correctly.