Mr. Guzman Goes To Washington

Cristian Guzman today bid a fond "Hasta la vista, suckers" to Minnesota Twins fans when he signed a multi-year deal with the Expos. "No one believed me when I said I was going to Canada if B@sh won the election," He boasted to a throng of reporters. "I'm getting as far away from Washington D.C. as I can. Enjoy tyranny, chumps." As Guzy departed, a reporter timidly informed him of the Expos impending relocation. To which the speedy Dominican responded by cursing several times in his native Spanish, then, producing a switchblade from his shoe, threw it at the Journalist, only to see the knife bounce three times and roll harmlessly through the man's legs.

Vaya con Dios, Amigo. We'll miss you.