The Sword of Peace
"I think it is fair to say that I believe we've got a great chance to establish a Palestinian state," B*sh said Friday. "And I intend to use the next four years to spend the capital of the United States on such a state." So now we know his pet project for the next four years (never mind where this ‘capital’ comes from). B*sh wants to join the decades-long tradition of U.S. Presidents who really really want peace between Israelis and Palestinians but haven't got the slightest clue as to how to go about it. B*sh, also following in the footsteps of his predecessors, will presumably sell Israel as many smart-bomb equipped F-16s as are necessary to achieve that peace. How admirable. Unfortunately, our commander-in-thief is incapable of mediation. It must be all the sitting still and talking he has a problem with. He has to take sides in everything, always has to be a rabble-rouser. I think he may be missing a chromosome pair. Everything he touches turns to civil war. The only reason the citizens of his own country haven’t taken up arms against him is because the vast majority of our guns are owned by his supporters – be they law enforcement, military, or hick.
"We seek a democratic, independent and viable state for the Palestinian people” he promises. So; democratic, independent, and viable, like, where, Iraq? OK, to be fair (HA!), it’s a vastly different situation, but my question is: what happens when an intelligence report suggests that a senior PLO official knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who may have financially supported Al Qaida? What happens when one of B*sh’s advisors informs him that Palestinians are Muslims. Who’s going to pull B*sh’s hand away from The Button then; Colin Powell??? Uh oh. Our only hope is that the rest of the world; the UN, NATO, the EU, Arab League, UNICEF, OPEC, WTO, WWF, FIFA, the NFL, The Red Cross, Amnesty International and a whole lot more all get together and keep us from f*cking it up. Every nation in the world will be united over the next four years, not so much in opposition to us, but in an attempt to steer us in vaguely the right direction. We’ve become the ADD/hyperactivity child in the world family. The UN isn’t going to make any progress with us if it just stands there yelling “NO!” every time we’re roughhousing indoors or tormenting the cat. They’re going to have to put our energy to good use, like “maybe you want to join a nice soccer team or a cub scout troop (nice military-looking uniforms, wouldn’t that be fun?)”. They’ll have to make sure we complete our projects “Honey, finish up with Bin Laden before you play with Saddam,” and make sure we clean up after ourselves, “Alright Mister, you left a mess all over Iraq, you’re not allowed to go marching over to Israel or North Korea until you’ve tidied up.”
Otherwise they’re going to have to grind Ritalin into our peanut butter, and what does that solve?
Where was I again? Oh yes: if this doesn’t happen, we’ll never see mideast peace in our lifetimes (2-3 more years).
whatever, I never promise to deliver gold on a Monday. Or for that matter, ever.
Peace.
"We seek a democratic, independent and viable state for the Palestinian people” he promises. So; democratic, independent, and viable, like, where, Iraq? OK, to be fair (HA!), it’s a vastly different situation, but my question is: what happens when an intelligence report suggests that a senior PLO official knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who may have financially supported Al Qaida? What happens when one of B*sh’s advisors informs him that Palestinians are Muslims. Who’s going to pull B*sh’s hand away from The Button then; Colin Powell??? Uh oh. Our only hope is that the rest of the world; the UN, NATO, the EU, Arab League, UNICEF, OPEC, WTO, WWF, FIFA, the NFL, The Red Cross, Amnesty International and a whole lot more all get together and keep us from f*cking it up. Every nation in the world will be united over the next four years, not so much in opposition to us, but in an attempt to steer us in vaguely the right direction. We’ve become the ADD/hyperactivity child in the world family. The UN isn’t going to make any progress with us if it just stands there yelling “NO!” every time we’re roughhousing indoors or tormenting the cat. They’re going to have to put our energy to good use, like “maybe you want to join a nice soccer team or a cub scout troop (nice military-looking uniforms, wouldn’t that be fun?)”. They’ll have to make sure we complete our projects “Honey, finish up with Bin Laden before you play with Saddam,” and make sure we clean up after ourselves, “Alright Mister, you left a mess all over Iraq, you’re not allowed to go marching over to Israel or North Korea until you’ve tidied up.”
Otherwise they’re going to have to grind Ritalin into our peanut butter, and what does that solve?
Where was I again? Oh yes: if this doesn’t happen, we’ll never see mideast peace in our lifetimes (2-3 more years).
whatever, I never promise to deliver gold on a Monday. Or for that matter, ever.
Peace.
posted by ab at 11/15/2004
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