Stadium Blather
I want an outdoor Twins Stadium, and I'm all about adding an extra sales tax In Hennepin County in order to get it. Why? Well it’s simple: I like baseball. That’s it.
Except that can never be “It,” can it? I'll admit that I don’t think we should have to pay for the damn thing, and while I don’t hate the Metrodome as passionately as some, I do fully realize the Big Bubble is an inferior experience for a game. And I certainly don’t relish the prospect of seeing the team relocate. There, I said it. I confess: all it takes is for someone to utter the words “Las Vegas Twins” and I break out in a sweat. I secretly dream of the day when I can sit in that right-field stand in the Warehouse District, hear the roar of the cars coming down I-394 behind me as I look up and watch how the setting sun reflects the steam from the garbage incinerator like a prism, snug in a vast, open-air temple to corporate sponsorship.
As an added bonus, I would also enjoy how giving the Twins a new stadium would be giving the finger to Vikings fans, a gesture for which there can be no pricetag. Too bad, purple pride, the Twins have been whining for a new stadium for 10 years, and you’ve only been doing it seven. Wait your turn, suckas.
Of course, the Hennepin County sales-tax idea won't go up for referendum because it’s unlikely to pass – and such a vote would be a significant timetable delay even if it was successful. The good people of Hennepin County simply wouldn’t feel it’s in their best [read: selfish] interests to pay for a stadium that everyone else gets to use too. Where’s Ramsey County on this? What about Anoka? I’ll grant that Anoka’s trying to get a stadium for the Vikings, and they can have ‘em as far as I’m concerned. But can we perhaps erect a wall around the county to make sure no one can use the park we (and the tourists at the bloody Mall of America) paid for with our hard-earned pennies? Or can we at least get a little recognition for our efforts? How does “The Minnesota Twins of Hennepin County” sound? Hey, it’s got a nice ring. Say it to yourself again, aloud. It’s like music, isn’t it? Hell, they could even change the emblem for us. They can emblazon “THC” across the player’s helmets, caps and jerseys. That would be popular with the high school and college kids, don’t you think? The merchandising alone would recoup loads of the stadium funding.
And what about corporate naming rights? That’s usually good for $15-20 million. We’ve plenty of local companies who’ll be willing to hop on board. For years I’ve been gunning for a “Marshall’s Field” nestled up next to the Target Center but alas, now that Marshall Fields has been sold off I fear my dream is dead.
Anyone else have an opinion on funding, referendums, corporate naming rights or whiney Vikings fans?
Except that can never be “It,” can it? I'll admit that I don’t think we should have to pay for the damn thing, and while I don’t hate the Metrodome as passionately as some, I do fully realize the Big Bubble is an inferior experience for a game. And I certainly don’t relish the prospect of seeing the team relocate. There, I said it. I confess: all it takes is for someone to utter the words “Las Vegas Twins” and I break out in a sweat. I secretly dream of the day when I can sit in that right-field stand in the Warehouse District, hear the roar of the cars coming down I-394 behind me as I look up and watch how the setting sun reflects the steam from the garbage incinerator like a prism, snug in a vast, open-air temple to corporate sponsorship.
As an added bonus, I would also enjoy how giving the Twins a new stadium would be giving the finger to Vikings fans, a gesture for which there can be no pricetag. Too bad, purple pride, the Twins have been whining for a new stadium for 10 years, and you’ve only been doing it seven. Wait your turn, suckas.
Of course, the Hennepin County sales-tax idea won't go up for referendum because it’s unlikely to pass – and such a vote would be a significant timetable delay even if it was successful. The good people of Hennepin County simply wouldn’t feel it’s in their best [read: selfish] interests to pay for a stadium that everyone else gets to use too. Where’s Ramsey County on this? What about Anoka? I’ll grant that Anoka’s trying to get a stadium for the Vikings, and they can have ‘em as far as I’m concerned. But can we perhaps erect a wall around the county to make sure no one can use the park we (and the tourists at the bloody Mall of America) paid for with our hard-earned pennies? Or can we at least get a little recognition for our efforts? How does “The Minnesota Twins of Hennepin County” sound? Hey, it’s got a nice ring. Say it to yourself again, aloud. It’s like music, isn’t it? Hell, they could even change the emblem for us. They can emblazon “THC” across the player’s helmets, caps and jerseys. That would be popular with the high school and college kids, don’t you think? The merchandising alone would recoup loads of the stadium funding.
And what about corporate naming rights? That’s usually good for $15-20 million. We’ve plenty of local companies who’ll be willing to hop on board. For years I’ve been gunning for a “Marshall’s Field” nestled up next to the Target Center but alas, now that Marshall Fields has been sold off I fear my dream is dead.
Anyone else have an opinion on funding, referendums, corporate naming rights or whiney Vikings fans?
posted by ab at 4/26/2005
2 Comments:
Well since i don't live in minneapolis (at the moment) I say make you losers pay. I agree with bruski though. It's hard to not want a stadium, even when you know that you are getting screwed over by a billionaire owner who refuses to pay for it.
Maybe they could revert back to the minneapolis millers?
And i can't wait to hear the vikings bitch about this. Hopefully this will cause them to never get their stadium and they can move to LA.
larso
I'm all for an outdoor stadium built on the backs of taxpayers.
My only concern is that without the Astroturf™ the Twins team that is built on speed and defense may lose a significant home field advantage.
Would it be wrong to put Astroturf™ in an outdoor stadium? Maybe that NeXTTurf™ is an option?
-Jason
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