H is For. . . "Homer Hanky"

Thanks to the Twins' excrutiatingly brief go at the postseason, my comments regarding them this month will be considerably more abbreviated than I'd hoped. In fact, this may just be the end of it:

Ode to a Homer Hanky:

I bought you, Homer Hanky,
And you cost me just a buck.
Although you might be uglier
Than Randy Johnson meets John Kruk.

Hey there, Homer Hanky
I'll wave you when I cheer.
By the fifth you'll look like me:
Stepped on and soaked with beer.

I love you, Homer Hanky,
I'll twirl you at Santana.
I wish I had a tiny head,
You'd be my wee bandana.

Help them, Homer Hanky,
For I'm a fickle man.
If these guys weren't a winning team
I'd be a hockey fan.

Damn you, Homer Hanky,
If their wins don't last.
'cuz if the Twins drop out in three
I'll use you to wipe my ass.