Sh!t or Get Off the Pot

Take THAT, activist doctors. We can NEVER allow a drug that people can grow themselves. At all costs, we must raise the stigma ever higher, block the research, and strike down state laws that attempt to bridge the gap, while marketing our "safe" (i.e. non-Canadian) laboratory-grown pills at a 500 percent markup. God bless America.
I mean, Marijuana's one of those gateway drugs, you know. Haven't you seen "Traffic?" One minute, you'll be having an innocent toke with Topher Grace, and then, WHAM-O, you're whoring youself on the streets for smack. Not only that, but illicit drug use helps the terrorists too. Or so Our Leader tells me. Are you so selfish, cancer-sufferers, as to ease your own pain at the expense of the lives of our fighting men and women? Are you so selfish, terminal AIDS patients, that you would while away your excrutiating, shortened lifespans attempting to ease your agony while helping al Qaeda operatives plot to murder your children? Every time you inhale, you put a bomb in the hands of a terrorist. You think about THAT next time you wanna get high, junior. If you don't like it, go back to Amsterdam, Cheech.