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Baby, I'm sorry I forgot our one-year anniversary. I was out with the gang watching the Bitch Sox win the World Series. But look, I've brought you a nice little bouquet of sarcasm - isn't it lovely? Maybe tonight we could have a nice candlelit dinner and talk about GW getting pantsed by the Harriet Miers withdrawal and then being spanked with CIA leak indictments? Wouldn't that be nice? I never meant to hurt you, honestly. I know that I haven't been the most dedicated blogger lately - I mean it's been months since I last made light of Ashton Kutcher - but that doesn't mean I don't still love you. It's just that with all the stress at work and money being so tight lately, I've just been having trouble performing. There, I said what we've both been thinking, OK? Does that make you happy? I mean, I could go through the motions and bitterly drone on and on about FEMA, but you deserve better, honey. For now, lets just sit down with a big bowl of popcorn and a nice bottle of merlot, turn on the national news and watch B*sh and the Republican leadership fleeing from each other at a dead sprint. Whattaya say? See, I still know what my baby likes.