Non-Dairy Creamer is Un-American

OK, so fine and good, Congress wants to investigate Dubai Ports World before they let them run major US ports, because there's some issue with security. Mainly, "uh, oh, they sound Arabic." They MUST be terrorists or at least terrorist sympathizers. The Republicans want to keep their pathetic paper 'security' crowns and the Democrats see an opportunity to FINALLY out-security the security Prez. How about something a little closer to the heartland? I speak, of course, about my delicious daily cup of Caribou Coffee.
If you didn't know, Caribou Coffee is 87.8 percent owned by the First Islamic Investment Bank, based in Bahrain, and is a terrorist organization, surely. I mean look, it's got the word "Islamic" in it. Don't ya just love how they think they can throw the word "bank" - a beloved word used repectfully and reverantly every day by millions of patriotic Americans - because they think they can fool us into thinking them innocent bean peddlers? I don't really have a point here, I'm just stringing words together. I just wanted to encourage you all to ask yourselves, the next time you take a big sip of your morning's waxy, salty Caribou Coffee: Hmm, is that a hint of nutmeg I taste, or is that ricin?