Another holiday link. Deal with it.

I ran into this last week and had meant to post it then. It’s a little piece on the Kyoto Protocol attempting to debunk global warming from Steven Milloy of junkscience.com and submitted to Fox News. The gem for me is; “...the real purpose of the treaty is to hamper the U.S. economy, to Europe’s advantage, by rationing American energy use.”

I think it's because the people of Europe hate our freedom.

Holiday Links.

Get used to 'em.

Bush Monkeys. From the BBC. Cheers to PBruski for the tip.

Everything Spins Both Ways

Congratulations to George W B*sh, Time magazine’s Person of the Year for 2004. Our illustrious leader follows in the footsteps of legendary world leaders Ayatollah Khomeini (Man of the Year, 1979), Richard Nixon (1971 & 1972), Joseph Stalin (1939 & 1942) and Adolf Hitler (1938). Cheers.

I suppose I'll have to address this again later when my workload dies down and my thoughts coalesce. Around here the holidays mean the same amount of work with less people to do it.

I also discovered this morning that my company’s e-mail content filter won’t allow the word “Hitler.”

Too funny.

Pictorial Conflict

Seasonal and topical makes the perfect story. From the BBC:

Cuba has put up photos of abused Iraqi prisoners in front of the US interests section in Havana after the US displayed Christmas decorations there.
The Cuban display includes images of Iraqis at the Abu Ghraib prison in Baghdad, and the word "fascists".

Check out the rest HERE, and no doubt a million other places.

This Week's Poll

Big thanks to everyone who participated in the poll. Here are the results:

What will be the biggest obstacle for the Montreal Expos' proposed move to Washington D.C?

52% - Steroids much more affordable in Canada
23% - Bud Selig’s “you go with the stadium-funding you have” speech
11% - Jose Guillen, Cristian Guzman on no-fly list
8% - Catchers in the U.S. often forced to dig through landfills for scrap padding
5% - The Baltimore Taliban
1% - Patriotic backlash against French Canadians

McCain's Monthly Attention Grab

Just in case you forgot about America's favorite Arizona son:

PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- U.S. Sen. John McCain said Monday that he has "no confidence" in Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, citing Rumsfeld's handling of the war in Iraq and the failure to send more troops.
. . .
He estimated an additional 80,000 Army personnel and 20,000 to 30,000 more Marines would be needed to secure Iraq.
"I have strenuously argued for larger troop numbers in Iraq, including the right kind of troops -- linguists, special forces, civil affairs, etc.," said McCain, R-Arizona. "There are very strong differences of opinion between myself and Secretary Rumsfeld on that issue."

- As reported by CNN

When later asked why he did not express these views publicly before the November elections, McCain explained, "I wanted a position on the cabinet myself, which they had offered if I was willing to play ball, and they also threatened to 'out' me if I spoke up," a comment which garnered confused looks among the small group of gathered reporters. He continued, "But then I remembered, I'm already a Senator, and I'm not gay. The point is, I don't need George B*sh anymore and I'm not afraid of his administration. Even if they did use dirty tricks to alienate me from my Republican constituency, and cause me to lose my party backing, I could just go Democrat and run against them in '08 - and if they wouldn't have me, I'd run Independent or Reform or Green. I mean, face it, I could run on a Christian Falangist Party of America nomination, hire an army of illegal laborers, tell people that I admired Hitler, have an extramarital affair with a teenage boy, embezzle millions of dollars, perform abortions, distribute methamphetamine, then die, and I'd still become the next President of the United States of America, so you better get used to saluting me when I enter a room." One stunned reporter weakly pointed out that as members of the media, they are not part of the military and are therefore not required to salute the Commander-In-Chief. McCain responded with derisive laughter, warning "A LOT is going to change in the next four years, private."

I Flunked Out of Electoral College

Oh yes, this is real:

Defeated Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry likely is going to get one less electoral vote nationally than he should have -- 251 instead of 252 -- because of an apparent mistake Monday by one of Minnesota's 10 DFL electors.
One of the 10 handwritten ballots cast for president carried the name of vice presidential candidate John Edwards (actually spelled "Ewards" on the ballot) rather than Kerry.
(From the Star Tribune)

And THIS is our system.

Idle Hands

Unfortunately, sometimes we’re just too busy for constructive rage, which may be why the powers-that-be have redefined overtime and won’t raise the minimum wage. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a hole to dig and fill back in again by 4:00 or I won’t get my slice of cheese.

Random Thought

So am I allowed to have a problem with religious iconography in my workplace? It’s an insurance company, so it’s easy to see the humor, as you’d be hard-pressed to find a more Godless industry. Not that I take particular offense to someone hanging a gaudy pastel 3' x 3' tapestry of Jesus and Mary as a symbol of a belief, it’s just that I question its aesthetic value (which is none). Or maybe I just want to stir things up around here and remind these people that they aren’t dead. Yet. I mean, I’m ALL ABOUT the First Amendment (see how I capitalized it?), but for the love of the God you so loudly worship, do you have to boast your reverence with a rag from Walmart?
Does it make a difference that the displayer of aforementioned God-kitsch possesses the power to fire my agnostic ass?
I guess I know the answer to that one.

Death, Taxes, and Back-door Drafts

It has become excruciatingly obvious that the current Republican regime has focused all of its resources toward finding a way to bolster troop strength without ‘technically’ instituting a draft. But not until recently had I realized just how desperate they have become. To wit:
While I had thought that my service to my country was completed some time ago, I very unexpectedly received a letter yesterday, informing me that due to wartime “stop loss” policies, I have been recalled to active service in the Cub Scouts of America. I have been assigned to retraining in central Minnesota’s Camp Onamia and recommissioned at the “Bobcat” rank, effective immediately. I have consulted a lawyer and learned that if I do not report promptly, I will face AWOL charges. So you will have to understand if my blogging is inconsistent for the next 18-24 months, as I have a long road ahead if I expect to regain the bird-watching, basket-weaving and archery skills of a seven-year old. Tie a yellow ribbon.

Making Do

From the AP:
Army Spc. Thomas Wilson, for example, of the 278th Regimental Combat Team that is comprised mainly of citizen soldiers of the Tennessee Army National Guard, asked Rumsfeld in a question-and-answer session why vehicle armor is still in short supply, nearly three years after the war in Iraq.
"Why do we soldiers have to dig through local landfills for pieces of scrap metal and compromised ballistic glass to uparmor our vehicles?" Wilson asked. A big cheer arose from the approximately 2,300 soldiers in the cavernous hangar who assembled to see and hear the Secretary of Defense.
Rumsfeld hesitated and asked Wilson to repeat his question.
"We do not have proper armored vehicles to carry with us North," Wilson said after asking again.
Rumsfeld replied that, "You go to war with the Army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time."

Oh. I see. Well, I suppose we owe you an apology, Donny. Guess that must be OUR fault. How about knowing your own limitations before you apply yourself in the first place? This is all under the assumption that there was no choice in the matter. THIS WAS AN ELECTIVE WAR, my friend. Can you imagine using this logic in other voluntary situations? "Well, the space shuttle was vastly ill-equipped to make a journey to Mars, so all the astronauts are now dead. But you go with the space program you have, not the space program you might want or wish to have at a later time." "We tortured dozens of prisoners in violation of the Geneva Convention, but you go with the information-gathering methods you have…" "Yes I molested children, but you go with the sex partners you have…"

And so on.

A Deal So Big, It Needed Three Headlines (plus this one)

Clear Channel Radio Names Fox News as Primary National News Provider to More Than 100 News/Talk Stations
Service Includes Five-Minute Top-of-the-Hour Newscast, Nightly Signature Newscast and Dedicated 24/7 National News Coverage
Deal Creates Direct Competitor to ABC Radio and CBS Radio

From Clearchannel.com. For more you'll have to go yourself. I'll not have any more of their filthy words tainting my page. (Thanks Dave/Dong for the tip & visual aid)

My Kind of Town

800 miles later, I have returned to the land of p[aw]lenty, physically and financially depleted but spiritually rejuvenated to be sure. It had been too long since I had enjoyed myself for days at a time without regard to any of the greater worries of the world that may occur outside my immediate perception. It rocked. I can see why so many people live their entire lives this way (“why,” but certainly not “how”). Wouldn’t it be wonderful to return to child-like innocence? What if all I knew was that Daddy B*sh was looking out for me? What if I could live in blissful ignorance of the atrocities committed at Daddy’s workplace as long as he made a show of scaring away the monsters under my bed each night while Uncle Ridge posts M-16-toting National Guardsmen outside my door to keep more from coming in and installs a color-coded Spongebob nightlight to warn me if they do? Just makes you feel all cozy and warm inside doesn't it?

Anyway, cheers to the Mpls Ex-pats in Chicagoland. Esp; Larso for putting me up, and Greta for putting up with me. So long, and thanks for all the Bell’s.

Caption Writing Contest: Submit your own caption in the 'comment' link below. The winner will be declared next Monday Dec 13 and will receive the usual prize.

WINNER: tinyelephant with "a former tight end auditions for andrew lloyd weber's new production "slap my chaps."" Congratulations. I've arranged for Randy Moss to cough up a game-losing turnover next week in your name.

"Rumsfeld and me, we're going to f*ck you up."

Responding to Red Cross accusations that United States is employing tactics “tantamount to torture” on prisoners in Guantanimo Bay, Donald Rumsfeld’s spokesman, Lawrence Di Rita, commented that while it differed from that of the B*sh administartion, “It’s their point of view.” Stunning revelation. Which point of view is that, exactly? The NEUTRAL one? Well, since you put it THAT way, I can see why we should trust YOUR perceptions instead. And what’s with the “Yeah well, ya know, that's just, like, your opinion, man” excuse? Good comeback. An eye-catching quote for the morning headlines, to be sure.

I must admit, though, when I later heard Richard Myers say ''WE certainly don't think it's torture,'' it totally put my mind at ease. If you can’t trust a General, who can you trust? It’s not like the administration has a vested interest in this after all, not like those malicious Red Cross workers. They’ve been trying to take us down for years. I mean what is that anyway, a red cross? Sounds satanic to me. And “Tantamount?” Who talks like that? I had to get out my Oxford English Dictionary and look it up. I think it’s a French word. Well I say those French hippy satan-worshippers can go back to Geneva, and stop telling us how to protect our borders. Lets see ‘em try to hide behind their precious convention when nukeyaler war breaks out.

Aaah well. It ain't easy finding the humor in torture, OK? I'm out for the weekend. Maybe drink off my rage in the windy city.

Read Between the Lines

The following is the text of Tom Ridge's actual resignation letter, which he submitted yesterday, and I have lifted from CNN. I've taken the liberty of blacking out the unnecessary characters to make his intended message a bit more clear.


Dear Mr. President,
Since September 11, 2001, you have led both our national and international effort to bring Bin Laden and Al Qaeda to justice and to eliminate the global threat of terrorism. As part of that effort, you have given me the opportunity to serve as the first Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and then the first Secretary of the new Department of Homeland Security.
United by a powerful sense of purpose and mission, my fellow employees have sought more and better ways to integrate people and technology to make our country more secure. As we have merged the many legacy units within the Department, we have made significant progress in strengthening the security of our nation. Working with Governors, Mayors, police and fire chiefs, the private sector, academic community, and all Americans, we have built relationships that will permanently sustain the national effort to protect our country.
We have been guided by your direction to keep America's doors open and her borders secure. Critical bilateral and multilateral relationships, coupled with significant new programs, have enhanced security and facilitated commerce.
There will always be more to do, but today, America is significantly stronger and safer than ever before. I am grateful for the opportunity to have served our country and to have worked daily with the exceptionally talented and dedicated public servants in your Administration and the Department.
It is with both gratitude and regret that I submit my letter of resignation. I have been honored to serve you and humbled by the trust you have placed in me. After more than twenty-two consecutive years of public service, it is time to give personal and family matters a higher priority. With your concurrence, it is my desire to continue to serve as Secretary until February 1, 2005, or until the Senate confirms my successor.
One of the few consolations for the families affected by the tragedy of Flight 93 is the fact that the passengers and crew, knowing their fate, fought back to avoid an even greater tragedy. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fight back. It has been an extraordinary privilege to work with my fellow employees and to partner with so many dedicated patriots around the country to preserve our freedoms, to protect America, and to secure the homeland.
With gratitude [sic] and friendship,
Tom Ridge